I have asked my parents time and again - how did you do it? How did you push me to work so hard and not burn me out? The answer from my Dad was surprising: "Jenny we didn't have to push you - you pushed us. You would have your ball glove on and waiting for me to get home so we could play catch. You would beg to go to the park and have me throw to you so you could hit. You would ask to play basketball - anything to be out playing a game. You were happiest when you were competing. Your "work" was you really your "play time", Work was FUN for you." I can tell you I really thought my Dad somehow made me this competitive person but what he was saying was - I was born with it. The reason I asked him how he did it is because I am now trying to do it for the athletes I effect. How do I pull the killer instinct out of my young athletes - who have it? Can I pull killer instinct, drive, and competitiveness out of a kid who doesn't have it to begin with? Are you born with it?
If you had my job which of these scenarios would you choose - what would you look forward to working with week in and week out?
1) To be faced with an athlete who is capable of a lot but only wants a little, but Mom and Dad want a lot?
2) To be faced with an athlete who is capable of a little, wants a little, but Mom or Dad want a whole lot?
3) To be faced with an athlete who is capable of a little OR a lot, is motivated by a lot, and has Mom and Dad in their cheering section?
For me I choose #3. My reasoning? This kid is self motivated, has the work ethic to try and improve without adult eyes on them. They LOVE the game - regardless if they are good or great at it. They just have to be playing - it's in their blood. They are alive and excited and have energy every time they get a chance to learn. Most importantly they have the support of parents who allow them to chase their dreams but are there for them if they come up a little short. This kid gets a pat on their back because of their effort - not outcomes alone. This kid gives you everything they have regardless of how hard or natural something comes to them because they try hard no matter how hard the skill or task is. In my experience I have witnessed over and over again athletes (& adults) who are capable of a little but accomplish a lot. In fact I think we find this in all walks of life - not just athletes.
The hardest part about my job is when I work with a kid who is #1 or #2 and after a period of time where you have tried to help them "fall in love with the work" it takes to be successful and haven't been able to make an impact. Often I am the one who has to bear the tough news to the parents. I'm sorry but your kid "just isn't that into it". Most of the time this gets greeted with anger, frustration, and denial. I can tell you that this conversation is the one I dread the very most - but really all I want to do is help the parents and the kid get on the same level of expectations. I "think" I am doing the right thing and trying to be a voice for both sides of the equation (parent = kid) in an attempt to get everyone on the same page. For me bringing that honesty to the athlete and their family is me doing my job to the best of my ability.
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